9.06.2011
he finally lost it
8.22.2011
The First of Many
This time last week I was a wreck. The out of district school that Tate had attended for the past two years was not going to have enough space for Britton to enter Kindergarten. I was faced with a few choices:
1. Leave Tate in his current school, send Brit to the other, in-district school and pray that a space would open up for Brit at Tate's school.
2. Leave Tate in his current school, home school Brit for a year and then send him to the out of district school with Tate.
3. Move both boys to the new, in district school and be done with all of this forever.
My final decision came on the day before school when I realized there was really no hope of getting Brit into Tate's school this year. We decided to send both kids to the in-district school where they and Ellie will carry out their elementary education career.
Why all the fuss? Why all the confusion? Why wasn't Tate in his in district school to begin with?
When Tate started Kindergarten, we were building a house, living with my grandmother, I was working full time and Brit was attending the Little School. It made the most sense for our family to send Tate to the school that was located closest to our temporary residence and closest to our new home. Ga Bill HB-251 made that possible, providing there was enough room for Tate after all the in-district kids were placed.
Fast forward two years later. Tate is in a school that he loves, his parents know most of the teachers, are involved in the PTCO and have a fantastic relationship with the administration. We never thought twice about sending Brit to the same out of district school that Tate was attending.
To make a long story short, there was not enough room in the out of district school to accommodate Brit. As much as I hated to take Tate out of a school that he loved and away from his closest friends, in the end, we really had no choice. We'd been looking forward to our boys attending the same school for years- we were not going to have them separated this year or ever.
My heart still aches when I think about...
We made so many great memories at Clarkesville and I would be lying if I told you that this transition has passed without tears, heart ache, worry and fear.
When I asked Tate about going to the new school, he said: "That's ok mom, I make friends everywhere I go. Plus, Trevor and Kalen will be there!" Oh, there was so much love and admiration in my heart for that boy at that moment, I thought it might explode. Because of my son and the confident little guy that he is, the Habersham Board of Education Superintendent & Board Members, our beloved CES Principal Dr. Susan Turpin and the administration at Fairview Elementary, our family was able to make the transition into a new school comminuty as painless as possible.
Best of luck to all as the 2011/2012 year is now underway!
1. Leave Tate in his current school, send Brit to the other, in-district school and pray that a space would open up for Brit at Tate's school.
2. Leave Tate in his current school, home school Brit for a year and then send him to the out of district school with Tate.
3. Move both boys to the new, in district school and be done with all of this forever.My final decision came on the day before school when I realized there was really no hope of getting Brit into Tate's school this year. We decided to send both kids to the in-district school where they and Ellie will carry out their elementary education career.
Why all the fuss? Why all the confusion? Why wasn't Tate in his in district school to begin with?
When Tate started Kindergarten, we were building a house, living with my grandmother, I was working full time and Brit was attending the Little School. It made the most sense for our family to send Tate to the school that was located closest to our temporary residence and closest to our new home. Ga Bill HB-251 made that possible, providing there was enough room for Tate after all the in-district kids were placed.
Fast forward two years later. Tate is in a school that he loves, his parents know most of the teachers, are involved in the PTCO and have a fantastic relationship with the administration. We never thought twice about sending Brit to the same out of district school that Tate was attending.
To make a long story short, there was not enough room in the out of district school to accommodate Brit. As much as I hated to take Tate out of a school that he loved and away from his closest friends, in the end, we really had no choice. We'd been looking forward to our boys attending the same school for years- we were not going to have them separated this year or ever.My heart still aches when I think about...
- not seeing Nancy Cathcart at parent drop off and Susan Turpin in the pick up line
- knowing I'll never bump into Mrs. Herrin or Mrs. Gannon in the hallway as I show off my second grader and kindergartner
- knowing that my sons are not in the same building as Madeline Washington, Britt Cody, Kathy Meredith, The Bracketts, The Hills, The Vickerys, The Halls and The Pauls.
- I'm sad when I think about Charlie and Smith playing football without my son or Ansley pretending to be a S.W.A.T team member without her Tate.
We made so many great memories at Clarkesville and I would be lying if I told you that this transition has passed without tears, heart ache, worry and fear.
When I asked Tate about going to the new school, he said: "That's ok mom, I make friends everywhere I go. Plus, Trevor and Kalen will be there!" Oh, there was so much love and admiration in my heart for that boy at that moment, I thought it might explode. Because of my son and the confident little guy that he is, the Habersham Board of Education Superintendent & Board Members, our beloved CES Principal Dr. Susan Turpin and the administration at Fairview Elementary, our family was able to make the transition into a new school comminuty as painless as possible.
So, as we casually began our First of Many days at Fairview Elementary, I watched my brave little men walk confidently down the hall of their new school:
We had a good laugh when we almost collided with a dear friend
and fellow kindergarten parent:
and fellow kindergarten parent:
And it did my heart good to know that my Britton, though largely unknown at FES,
will be in the company of this sweet little friend all year long:
will be in the company of this sweet little friend all year long:
Best of luck to all as the 2011/2012 year is now underway!
8.18.2011
Let's be honest here
What good is a blog if it only reveals the bright and shiny, most socially acceptable and properly presentable part of you? While endless musings of bliss and perfection may serve as a vehicle for elevating your self esteem and could quite possible evoke inspiration for your readers to achieve a likeness to your perfection, it isn't real.
I've been in a dark place, folks. January, February, March, April, May, June, July & August have all been marked by separate, but equally painful experiences. They've been personal, relational, professional and situational. Some within my control, some quite beyond. Every time I would get out of a valley and finally seem to reach the top, another blow would knock me down the mountain. I do not want to even admit this to you, but I have found blogging impossible over the past 8 months because no matter what I was to write about, there would still be these big "things" going on in my life that I couldn't share, thus making anything I had to say seem false and inauthentic.
So, for reasons that I will not describe in detail, 2011 has been the most painful year of my adult life...or possibly ever. There has been a shift in my soul. So much so, that sometimes I don't even recognize who I am...who I am becoming. I guess the best way I know to describe the outcome of these painful experiences is in a before & after illustration:
BEFORE, the world was my oyster, every day a party, and every person was a like a present waiting to be unwrapped. My home was a revolving door to friends old and new, my conversations casual and open. Trust was not earned, but doled out like candy canes at Christmas. If you said you were my friend, I believed you. I risked being vulnerable in hopes of being rewarded with true and authentic relationships.
AFTER, the world is a big, scary place...not sure I like it here. Better to just love your family and be selective about the few friends you hold dear...and even then, don't reveal too much. Trust no one except your husband. What's the use in pursing new relationships? People are just in it for themselves. Never reveal your whole heart and take caution in all situations.
So the BEFORE living was fun and free and exciting, but it opened me up to some excruciating situations. The AFTER has been quiet, closed, specific, calculated and guarded. The AFTER, though safer, is cowardice, faithless, all-consuming and sad.
And so now, I'm done. I'm done with the hurt and the situations that caused it. I'm over the dread, the re-hashing, the analyzing and the agony. I want off the free fall to doom and darkeness. I'm choosing to move on. I'm choosing the BEFORE, but a tad bit refined. I'm choosing to be ME.
The wake of this storm has left some relationships broken, but I know that time heals as it passes and my God restores ruins and breathes life into which there once was none.
Eight months almost to the day that all of this began, I can breathe again and can finally, finally, FINALLY see His hand, His mercy and His grace in it all. I have no bitterness left. Just love, forgiveness and cautious optimism.
I thank you, faithful readers, for not deleting my bookmark on your own blog due to my inactivity. I'm coming out of a place I hope to never return. Looking forward to the posts to come about the life my God has blessed me with. Though imperfect, made perfect in Him.
Be blessed, dear ones.
Merideth
I've been in a dark place, folks. January, February, March, April, May, June, July & August have all been marked by separate, but equally painful experiences. They've been personal, relational, professional and situational. Some within my control, some quite beyond. Every time I would get out of a valley and finally seem to reach the top, another blow would knock me down the mountain. I do not want to even admit this to you, but I have found blogging impossible over the past 8 months because no matter what I was to write about, there would still be these big "things" going on in my life that I couldn't share, thus making anything I had to say seem false and inauthentic.
So, for reasons that I will not describe in detail, 2011 has been the most painful year of my adult life...or possibly ever. There has been a shift in my soul. So much so, that sometimes I don't even recognize who I am...who I am becoming. I guess the best way I know to describe the outcome of these painful experiences is in a before & after illustration:
BEFORE, the world was my oyster, every day a party, and every person was a like a present waiting to be unwrapped. My home was a revolving door to friends old and new, my conversations casual and open. Trust was not earned, but doled out like candy canes at Christmas. If you said you were my friend, I believed you. I risked being vulnerable in hopes of being rewarded with true and authentic relationships.
AFTER, the world is a big, scary place...not sure I like it here. Better to just love your family and be selective about the few friends you hold dear...and even then, don't reveal too much. Trust no one except your husband. What's the use in pursing new relationships? People are just in it for themselves. Never reveal your whole heart and take caution in all situations.
So the BEFORE living was fun and free and exciting, but it opened me up to some excruciating situations. The AFTER has been quiet, closed, specific, calculated and guarded. The AFTER, though safer, is cowardice, faithless, all-consuming and sad.
And so now, I'm done. I'm done with the hurt and the situations that caused it. I'm over the dread, the re-hashing, the analyzing and the agony. I want off the free fall to doom and darkeness. I'm choosing to move on. I'm choosing the BEFORE, but a tad bit refined. I'm choosing to be ME.
The wake of this storm has left some relationships broken, but I know that time heals as it passes and my God restores ruins and breathes life into which there once was none.
Eight months almost to the day that all of this began, I can breathe again and can finally, finally, FINALLY see His hand, His mercy and His grace in it all. I have no bitterness left. Just love, forgiveness and cautious optimism.
I thank you, faithful readers, for not deleting my bookmark on your own blog due to my inactivity. I'm coming out of a place I hope to never return. Looking forward to the posts to come about the life my God has blessed me with. Though imperfect, made perfect in Him.
Be blessed, dear ones.
Merideth
7.08.2011
Still have not returned
You know, I should probably be busy catching everyone up on our beach trip but we've managed to keep the free spirit of vacation alive here at home. I haven't powered up my computer, paid any bills or returned any important phone calls since we've been back. I think I could live in this family cocoon forever- riding bikes, playing ball, eating popsicles, swimming, catching fireflies and ignoring bedtimes. I'll let you know when I'm "back".
6.07.2011
Mother guilt
Things that keep me up at night:
Did they read enough today?
I forgot to give them math practice work.
What will they think of first when they think of me when I'm gone?
Did I hug them enough today?
Did I make sure to look each one in the eyes and have an age appropriate meaningful conversation?
I only have ten years left of all of them at home.
How many vegetables have they eaten this past week?
Their college funds aren't what I'd hoped they'd be at this point.
I need them to see me read the bible and pray. Why do I wait until they are asleep?
What does a tacky tourist look like anyway and why didn't we plan out the outfits tonight?
I forgot to brush ellie's teeth.
What will their teachers be like this year? Are they getting what they need in school?
Do they know that they are loved?
Why did I let tate eat two sweets today?
What will we find out on the 17th?
Why is teething so hard for ellie, should I go back into her room to comfort her again?
Does britton know that I SEE him and that I know how special he is?
On nights like this I find little comfort. All I know to do is pray and be thankful for the joy they bring and hope I can give them back as much as they have already given me.
6.01.2011
Last Day as a 6
Seems like he's been six forever. Time usually whizzes by when you're bringing up little ones, but this past year has seemed to go a bit slower than most. Probably because I haven't missed a thing- class parties, ball games, field trips, doctor appointments, sick days, bed time stories, homework, I've been there for it all. Thank God for that.
Here he is. Not the best picture, but it was so humid outside today that my lens kept fogging up.
He is SUCH a character, has SUCH a big heart and is SUCH a challenge these days. He was the biggest surprise of my life- unplanned but oh-so-loved. Happy Birthday tomorrow, buddy.
He is SUCH a character, has SUCH a big heart and is SUCH a challenge these days. He was the biggest surprise of my life- unplanned but oh-so-loved. Happy Birthday tomorrow, buddy.
5.08.2011
Oh, Happy Day!
What better day to come out of blogger hiding than a day like today? Not just because it is Mother's Day, but because today my first born made a public profession of his faith through Baptism. There is no greater gift than to know that your child will spend his life on earth serving his Lord & Savior and then spend eternity with his Maker and his mother & daddy in heaven.
Happy Mother's Day to me!
Oh, and these little guys were the cherries on top!
2.13.2011
so...?
Who starts a brand new blog and then lets a month go by without a single post?
I do.
All I can say is....what a month it has been.
The greatest hindrance I have had is that most of my waking hours have been spent caring for one or more sick children or trying to recover from sickness myself. Since the day after Christmas, we have had 1 case of Strep Throat, 5 infected ears, 1 case of bronchitis, 2 rounds of the stomach bug that went through everyone but D TWICE, 1 random throat infection and two spouts of teething. Thankfully, we have yet to use our Emergency Room Frequent-Flyer card in 2011 AND we have the most amazing and attentive family physician ever.
I had thought January would be the month that I got caught up from the holidays, but here I find myself waaaay behind.
Amongst the sickness, however, there have been quite a few good things as well. I started attending the Monday night Community Bible Study which has blessed me beyond measure even in just a few short weeks, our Small Group began meeting again, Brit turned 5 and we celebrated with a sweet little party, Ellie has begun to walk, Tate got signed up for baseball and I've been offered an opportunity to help a friend out with her company. More about each of these things later.
On January 1, I found myself contemplating this year and what it may have in store for me and my family. I am currently serving on the PTCO, am President of our neighborhood HOA, and am the Finance Coordinator for Habersham MOPS. That may not sound like a lot, but coupled with rearing three children, keeping clean underwear in dresser drawers, spending time in God's word, nurturing my marriage & family life, planning and cooking (somewhat) healthy meals, keeping up a social life and spending time on developing my skills in photography, graphic design and other new ventures...well, I've been on the verge of simply throwing in the white flag.
I should know by now that because of the way I am, I can only handle 1 or 2 extra things at a time if I want to do them WELL and if I want to keep my marriage and my family healthy. Others in my life really can "do it all" and seem to stay afloat...and even keep full-time jobs. That is just not me.
So, now I have these responsibilities and commitments that I genuinely want to successfully contribute to and I will do whatever it takes to see these duties through. I am thankful that God has allowed me to serve others through these commitments. In the coming months, however, I am turning over a new leaf, getting "back to basics", guarding my heart and my time with my family. Busy is not always good. Busy can make you feel like you are contributing to the world, but if you stop and evaluate what is TRULY important in this life, chances are you will find that being busy is the exact opposite state of what you should be.
I can say, that among all of this chaos, I have an inner peace from God because I know He will help me through the next few months of these commitments. He has become so much more to me than I ever imagined and now I cannot let a day go by without coming to His feet, seeking His guidance and reading His word. Some people feel closer to God when everything in life is sweet and easy; I feel closer to Him when I face challenges. Because of that, I know that every difficult season I face in my life is a gift from Him that will sharpen my sword and help Him to carve me in to the person He wants me to be. "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)*
Oh, how I love this Savior of mine.
Several friends of mine are experiencing this same pull towards God and toward their own families, realizing who and what is important in this life. Do you find yourself facing each day with a full calendar and an overwhelming feeling of "what am I doing all of this for?" If so, I encourage you to pray that God will show you where your focus needs to be in this season of your life. Dig into His word as you search, I promise you will find the answer you are looking for and it will be a treasure from Him to you, far more precious than any treasure you will ever find here on earth.
Thank you to the "faithful few" who read this blog. Hopefully my next post won't find us wearing green and pinching others who are not.
All the best,
Merideth
*Verse taken from this past week's CBS study
I do.
All I can say is....what a month it has been.
The greatest hindrance I have had is that most of my waking hours have been spent caring for one or more sick children or trying to recover from sickness myself. Since the day after Christmas, we have had 1 case of Strep Throat, 5 infected ears, 1 case of bronchitis, 2 rounds of the stomach bug that went through everyone but D TWICE, 1 random throat infection and two spouts of teething. Thankfully, we have yet to use our Emergency Room Frequent-Flyer card in 2011 AND we have the most amazing and attentive family physician ever.
I had thought January would be the month that I got caught up from the holidays, but here I find myself waaaay behind.
Amongst the sickness, however, there have been quite a few good things as well. I started attending the Monday night Community Bible Study which has blessed me beyond measure even in just a few short weeks, our Small Group began meeting again, Brit turned 5 and we celebrated with a sweet little party, Ellie has begun to walk, Tate got signed up for baseball and I've been offered an opportunity to help a friend out with her company. More about each of these things later.
On January 1, I found myself contemplating this year and what it may have in store for me and my family. I am currently serving on the PTCO, am President of our neighborhood HOA, and am the Finance Coordinator for Habersham MOPS. That may not sound like a lot, but coupled with rearing three children, keeping clean underwear in dresser drawers, spending time in God's word, nurturing my marriage & family life, planning and cooking (somewhat) healthy meals, keeping up a social life and spending time on developing my skills in photography, graphic design and other new ventures...well, I've been on the verge of simply throwing in the white flag.
I should know by now that because of the way I am, I can only handle 1 or 2 extra things at a time if I want to do them WELL and if I want to keep my marriage and my family healthy. Others in my life really can "do it all" and seem to stay afloat...and even keep full-time jobs. That is just not me.
So, now I have these responsibilities and commitments that I genuinely want to successfully contribute to and I will do whatever it takes to see these duties through. I am thankful that God has allowed me to serve others through these commitments. In the coming months, however, I am turning over a new leaf, getting "back to basics", guarding my heart and my time with my family. Busy is not always good. Busy can make you feel like you are contributing to the world, but if you stop and evaluate what is TRULY important in this life, chances are you will find that being busy is the exact opposite state of what you should be.
I can say, that among all of this chaos, I have an inner peace from God because I know He will help me through the next few months of these commitments. He has become so much more to me than I ever imagined and now I cannot let a day go by without coming to His feet, seeking His guidance and reading His word. Some people feel closer to God when everything in life is sweet and easy; I feel closer to Him when I face challenges. Because of that, I know that every difficult season I face in my life is a gift from Him that will sharpen my sword and help Him to carve me in to the person He wants me to be. "Be joyful always, pray continually, give thanks in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you in Christ Jesus." (1 Thessalonians 5:18)*
Oh, how I love this Savior of mine.
Several friends of mine are experiencing this same pull towards God and toward their own families, realizing who and what is important in this life. Do you find yourself facing each day with a full calendar and an overwhelming feeling of "what am I doing all of this for?" If so, I encourage you to pray that God will show you where your focus needs to be in this season of your life. Dig into His word as you search, I promise you will find the answer you are looking for and it will be a treasure from Him to you, far more precious than any treasure you will ever find here on earth.
Thank you to the "faithful few" who read this blog. Hopefully my next post won't find us wearing green and pinching others who are not.
All the best,
Merideth
*Verse taken from this past week's CBS study
1.17.2011
internet explorer error
for some reason my blog is not displaying correctly in internet explorer. i am working on this...
time to “be”
To all my fellow Georgia residents who received the gift of seven or so inches of white powder covered in a few centimeters of ice, which in turn transformed itself into hours upon hours and days upon days of the elusive term we call “time”:
"There is something joyful about storms that interrupt routine. Snow or freezing rain suddenly releases you from expectations, performance demands, and the tyranny of appointments and schedules. And unlike illness, it is largely a corporate rather than an individual experience. One can almost hear a unified sigh rise from the nearby city and surrounding countryside where Nature has intervened to give respite to the weary humans slogging it out within her purview. All those affected this way are united by a mutual excuse, and the heart is suddenly and unexpectedly a little giddy. There will be no apologies needed for not showing up to some commitment or the other. Everyone understands and shares in this singular justification, and the sudden alleviation of the pressure to produce makes the heart merry.” –excerpt from “The Shack” written by William P. Young
If I could have said it better, I would have.
Time to snuggle, time to sleep, time to read, time to hold, time to bake, time create, time to think, time to pray, time to…be. What a gift!
Although three of our family members were visited by the stomach bug during our days in captivity, I still wouldn’t trade this uninterrupted time with my family for anything in the world. I was reminded that when it is all said and done, those who live with me in this home are the ones that will be with me and love me until my time on earth is through. A concept that I have become keenly aware of over the past few months.
I have resolved that in 2011 I will turn around, close my datebook, turn off my Blackberry, resign my volunteer positions and measure each step of my life in this way: “am I stepping away from or am I drawing closer to myself, my family and my God?”. Life is too short to get caught up in doing. Although I am a huge proponent of productivity, results and action, I am learning that there is immeasurable value in the ability to just “be”.
Here are a few photos to highlight an absolutely magnificent way to start a new year!
"There is something joyful about storms that interrupt routine. Snow or freezing rain suddenly releases you from expectations, performance demands, and the tyranny of appointments and schedules. And unlike illness, it is largely a corporate rather than an individual experience. One can almost hear a unified sigh rise from the nearby city and surrounding countryside where Nature has intervened to give respite to the weary humans slogging it out within her purview. All those affected this way are united by a mutual excuse, and the heart is suddenly and unexpectedly a little giddy. There will be no apologies needed for not showing up to some commitment or the other. Everyone understands and shares in this singular justification, and the sudden alleviation of the pressure to produce makes the heart merry.” –excerpt from “The Shack” written by William P. Young
If I could have said it better, I would have.
Time to snuggle, time to sleep, time to read, time to hold, time to bake, time create, time to think, time to pray, time to…be. What a gift!
Although three of our family members were visited by the stomach bug during our days in captivity, I still wouldn’t trade this uninterrupted time with my family for anything in the world. I was reminded that when it is all said and done, those who live with me in this home are the ones that will be with me and love me until my time on earth is through. A concept that I have become keenly aware of over the past few months.
I have resolved that in 2011 I will turn around, close my datebook, turn off my Blackberry, resign my volunteer positions and measure each step of my life in this way: “am I stepping away from or am I drawing closer to myself, my family and my God?”. Life is too short to get caught up in doing. Although I am a huge proponent of productivity, results and action, I am learning that there is immeasurable value in the ability to just “be”.
Here are a few photos to highlight an absolutely magnificent way to start a new year!
1.15.2011
welcome home!
there's nothing quite like the feeling of moving into a brand new home. everything feels clean, there is the faint smell of fresh paint, and the walls are empty canvases just waiting for the nails and hooks that will hang your treasures. it takes a few nights before the excitement wears off and is replaced by something even more exquisite: the feeling of being "home".
my former blog home was "The Sleepy Years". that title pretty accurately described the young mothering stage of my life. while I am still the mother of three very young children....well, I'm just not SLEEPY any more! there is way too much wonderful in this life to enjoy, so much to learn, so much to do, so much to see. i still stand by the belief that "life begins at 30", but as I approach 33...well, it's getting even better.
as was the case when i moved into my actual new home, it will take me awhile to get things "just so". i was originally going to wait and invite you here AFTER everything was in order- just the way i see it in my mind. but i just couldn't wait to begin blogging again and posting anything else under "The Sleepy Years" just seemed so...fraudulent and completely inaccurately describes my present state. remember, this space is a work in progress and probably always will be. it's ok with me if you see the imperfections, empty walls and design flaws.
looking forward to the new start...i hope you will enjoy it too.
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